The Things That Happened Yesterday

Yesterday I decided that I was wrong about naming our child after Welby MD, the miracle furniture salesman.

Instead I am going to MARRY him, and have a house full of beautiful furniture, because he is clearly a God of furniture. You should see all that cute stuff we didn't have to buy from Target. It is miraculous. My baby has the nicest room on the block.

Yesterday I also decided that I shouldn't get out of my car to get coffee ever again, because the people, I can't be around them, and they are not nice. I foolishly got out of my car to stand in line for a cup of coffee yesterday, and when a woman cut in front of me and another gentleman, I pointed it out to her. I wasn't rude, I was simply matter-of-fact about the whole deal. The people behind the counter must have agreed, because they hustled to wait on us before her, which must have been the thing that snapped her brain stem.

We ended up walking out at the same time, and from behind me, I heard her whisper, "Hurry up, you fat fucking bitch." When I turned around to tell her I was pregnant, not fat, she looked me up and down and replied that I would be fat anyway.

Then I dropped my keys because my hands were shaking so badly from the tension and nastiness. It is awkward to bend down when you are a little more than 6 months pregnant, never mind when you are a little more than 6 months pregnant and having a nervous breakdown simultaneously, because the people, they are not nice, and they will kill you over a cup of coffee.

I hustled out of there, and drove to work. She followed me the whole way, pulled into the parking lot, even! Maybe we work in the same building, maybe she had a meeting here, who knows. I wondered for a second if my car would be okay when I left work, and I confess, as I turned the key in the ignition I had a - would it explode? Was the coffee really worth it? GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD moment. I'm not proud of it.

In fact, I'm not proud of any of it. I could have kept my mouth shut. Why did I need to be some kind of advocate for me and all those who suffer the indignity of line-cutters everywhere yesterday? Why did I need to say, "I'm pregnant, I'm not fat." That is possibly the stupidest sentence I've ever uttered. With that one, ridiculous rebuttal, I let her know that I CARE what random, vile strangers think of my appearance. That I am a vain, silly individual with a tendency toward self-consciousness. I Why did I need to engage this woman? All I got was an average cup of coffee and a day full of crying jags for my trouble. Not really worth it, in the grand scheme of things.

When my mom came over in the afternoon to see the baby's room, we talked about it for the third time that day, and I told her that what was bothering me most of all was the possibility that my kid would someday feel this bad, and that would suck.

Her eyes filled with tears and she said that yes, it would (and does) suck worse than anything. Then she hugged me.

I'm glad that it isn't yesterday, today.