Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Why I'm Not Relieved Yet

I thought for sure that once I reached 28 weeks there would be this huge sigh of relief, a sudden and complete relaxation and loosening up of sorts.

Hah. That was dumb.

Meanwhile, I cannot tell you how PISSED I am that this onesie is sold out. Has there ever been a more perfect baby shirt? No, no there hasn't.

So, we had birth class part deux last night, and it might as well have been called HERE ARE THE THINGS THAT WILL FREAK YOU THE FUCK OUT UNTIL YOU GET TO 37 WEEKS GESTATION, SUCKAHS. It was that fun. I love to hear about pre-term labor and how devastating it can be for both mom and infant! Especially as the proud owner of the kind of uterus that puts me in the higher risk categories for pre-term labor! Whee! I had to walk out of the class during the preemie movie. I went into an empty conference room and cried. All T would say about the movie was, "the babies were small."

Then there was another movie, detailing the birth experience from the father's perspective. I actually really enjoyed it. They were all nice, gentle births with lots of quiet encouragement on the part of the coach. Maybe my favorite part was that the instructor finally shut up with THE TERRIFYING PRE-TERM LABOR talk for the first time all night.

We again finished up the class with 30 minutes of Lamaze, but I didn't find this week as relaxing as last week. Too much TERRIFYING, PRE-TERM LABOR talk, I guess. Oh, well. We also had to try to practice our breathing looking into the eyes of our "coaches," for sixty seconds. Yeah. That didn't go so well. The instructor warned us that we might not be able to get through it this first time without laughing, but that really, during hard labor, no coach will be laughing. T looked at me and whispered, "I wouldn't be so sure." Nice!

Maybe next week we can talk about cord accidents, or something warm and fuzzy like that.

Jesus.

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Blogger Lynne said...

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3:18 PM  

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