Rrrrrrandom

Somedays I just don't even know where to start.

It feels like we are doing so much RIGHT around here, that the little wrongs can take me by surprise. The kind of surprise that hooks into my middle and drags me back a few steps. Sometimes, I remember last year around this time and shudder. I wasn't doing very well, I was hormone addled, bluesy, angry and ecstatic by turns. I am so protective of the little groove that we've got going now, that any misstep can make me feel like I'll be sent right back onto that merry go round.

Which is a silly waste of energy, so let's not feed that particular monster, huh?

Back to the so much right. Johnny is amazing- he's a whirling dervish of delight, spreading drool and cheer everywhere he goes. He continues to be super verbal, he'll tell you what the doggie says, what the lion says, and let you know when he's all done. He sleeps at night- goes to bed without fuss, and works out his own kinks during the eleven or twelve hours that he's in the crib. He builds blocks, puts donuts on the holder, and drives his little cars all over the house. He's a really easygoing kinda guy, and I love him awful.

He may never walk, drink from a cup OR make the complete transition from two naps to one, but hey, no biggie. I say these things with what I consider to be the proper amount of sarcasm and new-to-this-parenting-gig seriousness. I don't have anything to compare Johnny to, so sometimes perspective can be an elusive thing. Mostly? I just trust that everything will fall into place.

Lately, Johnny and I spend as much time as possible chasing the sun. I am not looking forward to being housebound this winter- I spent the spring and summer getting really good at getting us up and out multiple times per day. When I imagine what we'll do in the cold and snow, I... well, I just think it might could suck. We're out now, catching any and all of the indian summer that is left to us. Storing the warmth and sunlight in our sensory memory. Today at the forest preserve we saw a teeny baby garter snake. I may have transferred my fear of teeny baby garter snakes to the buddy. Sigh.

While fall has NEVER been the season to bring out my best qualities, I can say that having John around both inspires and forces me to keep it together. This has been my calmest, nicest fall in a number of years. And yes, it's true that I have to take a few deep breaths every so often, to avoid the hook in the middle feeling, it's also true that I know every single second of every single day that I'm okay. Everything is okay.

It makes me proud.

What else makes me proud you ask? Well, duh: