Monday, November 20, 2006

The Bra, The Best Friend and a Note About My Wardrobe

Last week there was an independent retailer type thing at my church. It was advertised as "Ladies Night."

Let me tell you, I did NOT act like a lady. I was annoyed when I got there, and promptly downed two margaritas. What followed was loud talking, swearing, and a bra fitting that featured smiley-face stickers that demonstrated where my nipples were vs. where they ought to be according to Frederick or Victoria or The Man. You can be sure I remarked on all of this, and loudly. Why does no one ever tell me to shut up after I drink two margaritas in 20 minutes. Going forward, everyone has my permission to do so.

We also discussed whether or not bringing Johnny to the last WW meeting was a good idea or not. I did bring him, I wouldn't do it again, and he was NOT well-received. Which is okay. The thing is, I simply cannot be objective or rational where he is concerned. I can't even believe that anyone wanted to HAVE a meeting. They should have just wanted to sit around and watch Johnny be amazing. This is a thing that goes mostly unadvertised. Your perspective becomes a little melty where your child is concerned. It seems like a good idea to bring him wherever I go, because I really enjoy him. If you don't really enjoy him? You hate children, hate me, and you are oppressing me. Clearly. If you agree with me on this we are BFF's. If not, see above.

Right. It always seems like a good idea to have two margaritas in 20 minutes.

In other news, I have decided to set up a little challenge for myself. I am not going to buy one item of clothing for myself for one year.

I've been doing a LOT of thinking about this. I have an enormous amount of clothing and accessories. Lately, that is a source of shame. It is an excessive, wasteful, expensive habit. I feel a little sick when I look in my closet these days. So there you go. No clothes and no margaritas.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

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8:03 AM  
Blogger Nancy said...

Hey, you were HILARIOUS at ladie's night, albeit a bit loud. Ok, really loud. You have such good friends, and I'm still chuckling about G (or anon, as she likes to be called here) having her high school job at the hot dog stand and being called a wiener by the cutest boy in school.
And, anyone who actually wants to have a meeting instead of watch Johnny play has their priorities seriously screwed up. ;>)

1:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! What an Adorable (with a capital A!) kid!!!

Kelly, three words - I. love. you. You always crack me up. It was fun hanging with "the real best friend" and the family :) I am impressed by your resolution...check out

although, according to the poster above, you could get 30% back for all your online purchases, so then its like you never bought it in the first place, right?

Lets plan another ladies night where we just bring our own margaritas and stickers to your house....

2:47 PM  
Blogger Sewer Rat said...

CUTE kid you have there!

I think you should have more margaritas more often! You are a good drunk... even if it lasts for only 10 minutes before you have your hangover...
Those 10 minutes sure are fun!
And you know I would have much rather watched Johnny cheer us all on at WW... YEAH!! YEAH!!! than listen to that mean Mary... what a BEEEOTCH she was. I can't believe she kicked you out! She was so rude!

Am I back to being the BFF???
G- or ANON - or weiner... we should hang out again soon too!

Happy Turkey day! Gobble Gobble!

3:17 PM  
Blogger knocked her up said...

Can I just call you G-Dog instead

7:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I prefer G-money...

5:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am I the only one totally mourning and shocked by the "1 year no clothes" commitment!?!? Yikes! Please, tell me you were kidding. PLEASE. One year is a long time.

I'm sorry the WW group wasn't into Johnny. Here at the one I went to, it was day time and every kid under 5 attended with their parent.

I really really wish I was at your Ladies' Night. I would have at least gotten pictures!!!


8:38 AM  
Blogger knocked her up said...

No she wasn't kidding. How else is Kelly going to be able to afford that 50inch plasma TV she's getting me for Christmas.

6:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't tell MY husband!!!


5:36 PM  
Blogger Lynne said...

I So wish I'd been there! K - you continue to be so hard on yourself. Lighten up Francis (if my husband says this one more time, I'll...I'll...I'll call him a weiner!)
Seriously, what wonderful friends and fam you have. Have another margarita on me!
P.S. I'd rather watch JJ anyday...

11:24 AM  

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