Nurtu(red)

I bought one of those red shirts from the Gap a few weeks ago, before any of this started. I loved the color and thought that it was a perfect description of my life.

There were no surprises at the doctor's office today. No viability, probably not ectopic but they'll have to watch the numbers for awhile. When they asked me to come right in for an ultrasound I did lose it, for the second time since I began to suspect it wasn't going to work out. This time, Johnny saw me. He stood up right away and started rubbing his hands together as he walked toward me.

"Okay, mama? Brush it off. Brush it off, mama." Then he put his big-boy hand on my leg and watched me compose myself. He didn't walk away until he thought I was all better.

With his help, and with the help of the many, many others who keep me nurtu(red), I will be. I will be.