Thursday, October 06, 2005

"Execute"

I was watching Lost last night, and I felt so sorry for that guy Desmond. He had to wake up every 108 minutes for all that time, and didn't have T to relieve him on the weekends.

This is how addled my brain is. Sleep is ALL I think about. Johnny had a great night on Monday- he went four hours straight TWICE IN A ROW, and I thought maybe we were over the hump, but it turns out that my son is a horrible tease. He's back to his two-hour self. He's also pretty miserable again, after having a week of peacefulness. There is no code, no button to push that will stop the alarm. Perhaps Desmond didn't have it so bad after all.

I blame Zantac. We'll deal with reflux some other way, because I think the medicine is bothering the buddy. He's a constant fusser and MAMA CAN'T TAKE IT. If he's not sleeping he's screaming. I'm trying not to take it personally. Maybe it isn't the Zantac, maybe it's that his Uncle Matt hasn't gotten the necessary paper work complete to be his godfather and it's hurting his feelings.

It is hard not to be bummed out when your kid cries all day, and it's equally hard not to be bummed out when you no longer recognize your own body. I avoid mirrors as often as I can, and I rotate about 5 items of clothing that fit without inducing tears, but it is really hard. A year ago, I was in the best shape of my life. Now? I fatigue just from carrying Johnny in his carseat. It seems shallow to hate your body when it has been the vehicle for your favorite new person, but who ever said I wasn't shallow?

I don't want to be bummed out, though. I mean, look at him! He doesn't care that my belly looks like a scratching post. He's just waiting for the next 108 minutes to be up so he can start screaming again. Have I mentioned what a good thing it is that he's so cute?

8 Comments:

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10:03 PM  
Blogger Nancy said...

HE IS SO GORGEOUS!!! I just want to kiss that face. Can't wait til the 15th so I can spend some time with him all by myself.....

5:10 PM  
Blogger Sewer Rat said...

Was he thinking of me in that picture? "Oh, my SueSue... I love her... She is so great!"
XOXOXO


"Execute" - is that a LOST thing???

5:13 PM  
Blogger Lynne said...

Kelly -

Please feel free to call me (when you're awake and functioning - probably next summer...:). I have been there! Brendan also woke up Screaming and I felt so bad for him but also so bad for us sleep-deprived parents...Go with your gut feeling - if you think the Zantac is bothering him, by all means stop it. Brendan hated motion-cars, swings, anything. He slept on his tummy, which did help. We put a small amount of rice cereal in his bottle to help keep it down.
And for you-take all the help you can because you need rest to be the great mommy that you are!

Lots of love-Lynne

10:03 AM  
Blogger Lynne said...

P.S. Did I mention I cannot wait to see him in the flesh? He is absolutely adorable!

10:04 AM  
Blogger Lynne said...

Okay Kel - reading back on this, I sound like, well a know-it-all, which of course I'm not. Just don't tell Frank or the boys or I'm in big trouble.
Hope you're all well -

Lynne

12:20 PM  
Blogger Knock Up said...

You do NOT sound like a know it all. We can't wait to see you guys, either. Even though you are Dodger fans.

9:04 PM  

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