Friday, January 27, 2006

Asked and Answered

Says Gabi:

What if he beasts out? He won't.

How do I change his diaper on a plane? You don't.

What if we sit next to the person with Tuberculosis or something? You won't be sitting next to anyone...childfree passngers do everything they can to avoid babies :)

And then when we get there, what if he won't sleep or nap? Hey you're only going for what? 48 hours or so? Par-tay!

What if he's allergic to the sun? Then you've got bigger problems then 2 days in Pensacola. Haven't you ever seen one of those television specials about the kids who are "allergic to the sun"? Their parents have to cover all the windows and when they take them somewhere during the day they have to wrap them completely in blankets. They have special camps for them where all the activities are after sunset. You think reading "A Million Little Pieces" is bad? Stay away from Discovery Health Channel.

What if I lose my luggage containing the four thousand bottles, diapers, toys, wipes, washcloths, bibs, and socks that I'll have to pack? I have already answered this in a previous telephone conversation. [Right, I think she said, "shut up, stupid- they have stores in Pensacola!"]

How will I bathe him? Get in the tub with him. You should be doing this at home anyhow. Its fun. We have so many cute bathtub pictures of Charlie with weird edges because I've had to crop my fat ass out of them.

What about the car seat and the stroller and the Bjorn? Wear him in the Bjorn, throw the car seat on the stroller and gate check the two of them. Easy peasy.

What about the routine? Your little "routine" is going to be history soon anyhow, as soon as Johnny starts crawling/seriously teething.

What if he suddenly, miraculously starts walking and reciting the Declaration of Independence while we're there? Call David Letterman.

What if he becomes a Republican while in Pensacola? I will keep my fingers crossed.

Is it contagious? If only.

Say my other girlfriends, most who are mom to many and have been here and done this- GO,GO,GO!

So we are going, going, going. But this kid better not come back a Republican.


Blogger knocked her up said...

The most important questions are, who is going to make me dinner, do the laundry, clean the house...

7:33 AM  
Blogger Knock Up said...

No, the most important question is how'd I end up with so many Republican friends??

11:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! I love your blog, Kel. I just wanted to give you a heads up that during the security check point, they'll make you take Johnny out of the stroller AND out of the Bjorn. So, be forewarned.
- Claire

11:10 AM  
Blogger katie said...

I will pass on my favorite tips for flying with babies.

1. Buy a jar of the foam earplugs at the drugstore and then offer them to the people sitting near you. They will LOVE you.

2. The most important things to take on the plane are complete changes of clothing for baby and you and a large, folded trash bag. Just in case. If baby explodes from one end or the other (or, possibly, both) you can both get off the plane with some semblance of dignity. It's your call whether you launder what's in the trash bag or toss it in the nearest trashcan.

3. Spring for a seat for the little one and bring his carseat on the plane. Then you can strap him in for takeoff and landing and maybe get your hands free if he takes a little snooze. Or you'll know he's safely contained while you change clothes if he explodes. Heh.

Have fun. The first flight is the worst. But you'll both come through fine, I'm sure!

3:53 PM  
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