As Easy As It Sounds
It occurred to me when I read this post last night that maybe I'm not using my blog as honestly as I should. It occurs to me now at 10:29 am on a Friday, as I sit here listening to dumb chick-rock with the tears in my eyes that are the new prerequisite to life around our house these days that I'm right about this.
It isn't just Tally and Rob that are struggling.
This is hard. It's hard enough to take care of this teeny tiny human being that we made. Remembering the we that came before him? Fucking impossible lately. And you know, it sucks. It sucks so much that I can't even write about it. I guess I just thought that if there is anyone reading this BESIDES my family (hi, guys! Let us never speak of this post, okay?) anyone who also just had a baby, then they deserve to know that I also think this is hard. So, so hard.
Hard enough to make me wonder sometimes why we thought this was such a good idea. If we'll survive this alleged good idea.
I want to have enough love for everyone who lives in our house. I'm certainly in love with everyone who lives in our house.
I may die of overshare now, just so we're clear.
posted by Kelly @ 8:26 AM
4 Comments:
The daily grind of taking care of that tiny one tends to wear away at a marriage - but it's only temporary. You just have to fake it, for awhile. This is the really, really hard part, and it gets better. I promise.
I'll spare you the cliché's and cut to the heart of the matter.
1. You are the best person in the world to be a mommy because you care so much for your baby. Bad mothers go to tapings of Jerry Springer and leave their kids alone for 12 hours to fend for themselves.
2. It is not selfish to miss "the old days." The new days can be hard but at least we aren't wallowing in our vain vapid existence. I find that ultimately more rewarding.
3. Nobody knows exactly what you are going through only you do and it is up to you to tell others what you need — unless you are related to the Amazin Kreskin.
4. Being a new mom is so indie.
5. The entire Sex in the City model is a fallacy. Being shallow and spending indiscriminately is so '90s although don't tell that to our current administration or they will shoot you in the face with bird shot.
6. Long-winded comments from misguided anonymous visitors to websites are usually without merit.
7. The new Neko Case album is very good.
8. Bottom line. You are a good person who many people deeply care about. You don't have to do this alone. People are going to say what they will about how to raise a child but you know what? They have no idea how to raise YOUR child. That is your right and your prerogative. (Oh my God now I'm starting to quote Bobby Brown.)
9. Good luck. (But you don't need it.)
Jason (the guy who married Claire)
That Jason is one smart man.
Careful, Nancy, you tell him once he's smart and I have to hear about it for the rest of my life!!! "Jason, you gave our 2 year old a cup of milk with no lid & now she's poured it in the furnace vent." His response from now on will be, "Nancy said I was a smart man." ;)
Seriously, this is one of the best links I can give you & anyone else reading this thread: http://www.pndsa.co.za/ms-fc.htm
It's a survey that helped me so much to see what I was feeling in black and white. You are not the only one who has struggled through this, it's true.
Lack of sleep, isolation and nutrition really play a big part in my ability to enjoy or dread the first year. Figure out what works and what doesn't work for you this first year and REMEMBER it so that if you choose to have another things can go much easier.
You are a wonderful Mom!
- Claire
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